Avoiding Toxic Positivity

June 4, 2024
Avoiding Toxic Positivity

Avoiding Toxic Positivity in Business Consulting

Avoiding Toxic Positivity

Hi team! It’s your friend, Mary, with The I in Team Series, where you can find, be, and build your positive influence. A few weeks ago, IA’s Gratitude Group discussed toxic positivity and its effects. Toxic positivity is the belief and pressure to ignore negative or painful emotions, putting a positive spin on even the hardest life events. Toxic positivity often leads to emotional repression, forcing individuals to believe that they should feel ashamed for feeling negative emotions or like nobody understands them. Avoiding toxic positivity can be beneficial for you and people around you. While it’s okay to have a positive attitude and outlook, ignoring the other side of emotions can be detrimental to your health.

 

Internal Toxic Positivity

 

Internal toxic positivity is when you don’t allow yourself to feel and accept your emotions, often telling yourself to stay positive. This is typically due to shame for feeling the emotion. Emotions are part of the human experience, so to avoid internal toxic positivity, follow these three steps.

 

Be Transparent

 

Being transparent with yourself about what you are feeling means having enough respect and self-compassion to allow yourself to feel. When you’re honest with yourself about your emotions, you make it easier to get rid of those emotions. Additionally, you can also weaken their hold the more often you are honest with yourself about them. By acknowledging their presence, you avoid emotional repression.

 

Validate

 

Knowing when you are feeling emotional is typically easy, but classifying those emotions isn’t always easy. For those who have been repressing their emotions, emotional identification becomes more difficult as they are typically classified as the highest-ranking emotions (anger, sadness, happiness). Additionally, it’s always possible there are multiple emotions present at one time. This can, again, make it even more difficult for those repressing their emotions to categorize the emotions they feel. One tool that can be used to aid in validating and identifying emotions is an emotion wheel. Emotions are valid, but the more you understand them the less power they have.

 

Have Empathy

 

Empathy and self-compassion are imperative to avoiding toxic positivity. You may feel both grief and happiness at the same time, and that is normal. Having empathy for yourself means realizing that emotions are part of the human experience and that you are allowed to have them. Empathy encompasses validating, identifying, and understanding your emotions, but with yourself.

 

External Toxic Positivity

 

Avoiding being toxically positive with others may be difficult if you are toxically positive with yourself. While you work on being less toxic with yourself, consider using those same (or similar) tactics with others. Below are three steps to avoid toxic positivity when interacting with others.

 

Listen

 

While being transparent with yourself requires you to listen, you also need to listen to others. By listening to others when they are describing their emotional state, make them feel acknowledged, heard, and validated by repeating back to them what you hear. For example, “I hear that you are experiencing immense grief right now,” or, “It sounds like that event made you feel very angry.” Don’t offer unsolicited advice, but if you want clarity on what they are looking for, ask them if they want advice or someone to empathize with them.

 

Have Empathy

 

Empathizing with others is a lot like empathizing with yourself. Showing empathy means being able to understand other’s emotions and demonstrating that understanding through some kind of support. Having empathy for the bad parts of being human is okay. Yin and Yang come from ancient Chinese philosophy and methodology, representing complementary forces, like good and bad. The symbol for Yin and Yang denotes there is some good in the bad and some bad in the good. Having empathy for others (and yourself) means accepting this fact.

 

Language

 

To avoid toxic positivity, you have to change your language. Toxic positivity often sounds like, “good vibes only,” “everything happens for a reason,” or, “it could be worse.” These are invalidating statements that can make people feel shame for feeling emotions. Emotions are not something to be shameful of. Replace these phrases with, “all vibes welcome,” “life is full of peaks and valleys,” or, “you aren’t alone in this experience.”

 

Conclusion

 

While positivity serves us greatly in many regards, when it becomes toxic positivity it becomes detrimental to our mental health. Overcoming toxic positivity and emotional repression is not an easy task, but it is possible. It takes willpower and habit building to rewrite your mind’s natural way of thinking. To continue spreading your positive influence, you must have compassion and empathy for the spectrum of human emotions, both with yourself and those you influence. Once you do so, life will, ironically, become more positive.

New Button
August 30, 2025
Team Collaboration Training: Strategies for Building High-Performing Teams Hello again! It’s me, Mary, ready to continue our journey through the I in Team series, where we focus on helping you Find , Be , and Build your influence. As advisors, we work with two types of teams: Those who collaborate well and those who do not. If you’re the latter or just looking for more guidance on how to promote collaboration, you’re in the right place. Developing a strategy for team collaboration training can improve overall alignment, accountability, and build trust. You may already have a high-performing team that thrives on collaboration, but if you don’t, here is an easy read with our top tips. Establish a Clear Vision It’s difficult to encourage a team to become high-performing if they don’t know why. You must establish a clear vision to anchor your team’s work and propel them toward collaboration. Use S.M.A.R.T. Management to create specific goals and measure success. Help your team align their individual goals with the organization’s goals to help them foster a deeper sense of ownership and pride. Once you have motivated your team and set a clear direction, take a moment to clarify their roles and responsibilities. If any team member feels confused about their contribution, they may not work at their highest level. It’s prudent to document individual responsibilities and interdependencies to help minimize confusion and maximize collaboration. Promote Psychological Safety Team collaboration training will be wholly ineffective if team members do not feel safe or do not trust each other. Distrust is one of the quickest ways to erode a positive team culture and can topple any high-performing team. To avoid this, focus on building psychological safety by encouraging open dialogue, risk-taking, and idea-sharing in a safe space that does not allow judgment. As a leader, you must model this vulnerability for your team and actively invite input from all team members to begin building a culture that fosters openness and safety. Here are some other ways to help build trust within a team and promote psychological safety: Remain accountable to your words with your actions Resolve conflict constructively and without bias Create bonding opportunities outside of formal work settings Trust and safety fuel innovation, so feel free to get creative! Celebrate Wins and Reflect on Losses Taking a moment to recognize your team’s achievements fuels morale. It shows you are paying attention to the hard work they do to help the team become high performing. By recognizing both individual and team achievements often, you encourage the same level of work for the future. However, take note of how some individual team members prefer to receive praise; if you aren’t sure, read more about effectively praising team members in this blog . Additionally, team collaboration training will require reflecting on losses and setbacks. Failure should never be seen as negative; promote reflection to consider what did and didn’t work so that the whole team can learn. This can often fuel improvement if done mindfully and positively. Invest in Development Investing in your team is investing in your organization. By providing opportunities for continuous learning, either technical or interpersonal, you mold better teammates who contribute to a more positive culture. There are many ways to invest in development: Create a mentorship program Offer free or paid courses online or through local organizations Encourage joining local chambers or other groups Hire outside coaches to perform team or individual development sessions Schedule team lunch and learns, and choose someone different to teach each one Teams that have fostered a growth mindset with an eye on consistent learning opportunities always outperform teams that remain stagnant. Team Collaboration Training Summary Fostering team collaboration starts with you. The culture of a team will greatly influence its ability to be high performing. Focus on a clearly communicated vision, build psychological safety, celebrate victories, reflect on losses, and invest in team/individual development to prove your commitment to training. As always, if you have questions or need more assistance, please reach out to us ; IA Business Advisors would love to hear from you.
August 29, 2025
Discover how small business owners and executives can overcome feelings of being unappreciated by building self-awareness, managing unsee influence, and leading with intention. Learn strategies to inspire appreciate and strengthen your leadership impact.
A man wearing a gas mask with the caption top 5 signs of a toxic workplace and how to fix them
July 25, 2025
Discover the five warning signs of a toxic workplace culture and learn how small business leaders and executives can take actionable steps to rebuild trust, improve accountability, and create a thriving, high-performance team environment.
A man holding a flag and a megaphone.
July 25, 2025
Learn how positive habits like active listening and mindfulness can strengthen leadership communication skills and improve team outcomes.
Employee Engagement & Retention
By Mary Griffin June 26, 2025
Reducing employee turnover is a byproduct of intentional influence. Mentorship programs nurture teams, strengthen culture, and support long-term retention.
A person is holding four puzzle pieces that say ceo cfo and cmo
June 19, 2025
Fractional C-suite staffing involves engaging top-level executives on a part-time or project basis, offering the same strategic oversight and expertise as a full-time hire in a flexible arrangement.
A blue piggy bank is sitting on top of a stack of wooden blocks.
June 9, 2025
In an increasingly volatile economy, businesses cannot afford to be reactive when it comes to their finances. Whether you're a startup founder, a growing enterprise, or a seasoned business owner, the risk of financial instability is real—and growing. At IA Business Advisors, we help companies proactively navigate these risks using our comprehensive S.M.A.R.T. Management System . S.M.A.R.T. is more than just a goal-setting acronym. It is a decision-making and execution framework that brings clarity, structure, and alignment to every part of your business. From six-week action plans to one-year targets and long-term strategy, S.M.A.R.T. ensures your financial operations support healthy growth and resilience. Understanding Financial Risk in Today’s Business Climate Financial risk is multifaceted. It ranges from cash flow disruptions and market shifts to internal mismanagement and over-leveraged growth. As Brian Smith shared on a recent Daily Influence podcast episode, unchecked growth can drive a company into bankruptcy. Scaling without intention—chasing fast growth without aligning the internal team and financial resources—leads to diluted communication, quality issues, and operational chaos. Mitigating financial risk begins by understanding that more revenue doesn't always equal more stability. True sustainability comes from building systems that support intentional, well-paced growth. The S.M.A.R.T. Framework in Action: Reducing Financial Risk Our S.M.A.R.T. Management System guides businesses in creating resilient, financially stable operations through: 1. Specific: Build with Intentionality Clarity is power. One of our podcast guests, Mike Heatwole (CEO of The Dala Group), emphasized the importance of sitting down to define what matters most—whether that’s paying down debt, investing in growth, or launching a new venture. When your financial goals are specific, your strategy becomes targeted and less prone to reactive decision-making. “If we don’t know what the goal is, how do we get there?” — Mike Heatwole, CEO of The Dala Group 2. Measurable: Track What Matters Many companies are blindsided not by invisible risks, but by unmonitored ones. We help clients implement tools to track cash flow, margin fluctuations, and budget variances in real time. Visibility into your financial health gives you the power to respond early and course correct as needed. 3. Achievable: Assign Financial Stewardship Risk is reduced when financial responsibility is distributed. Through teamwide financial literacy and clear accountability, we empower organizations to make stronger daily decisions. No individual person should carry the entire burden—and no key area should go unmonitored. 4. Relevant: Make Risk Management a Habit Quarterly or biannual financial health check-ins create a sustainable rhythm. These don’t have to be complicated—they just need to be consistent. Regular reviews embed risk awareness into your company culture and decision-making process. 5. Timely: Foster Honest Dialogue Financial silence is a hidden threat. As Brian noted on the podcast, emotions like fear or shame can prevent businesses from facing financial realities. We encourage honest, blame-free communication around financial performance, creating space for solutions and collective action. Case in Point: Short-Term Action, Long-Term Impact One of our clients, a family-run distribution company, had strong revenue but was bleeding cash due to aging receivables. Together, we built a six-week S.M.A.R.T. Plan focused on accounts receivable recovery. We implemented weekly check-ins, assigned ownership, and used real-time tracking. Within 90 days, their outstanding A/R dropped by 22%, freeing up capital and restoring operational confidence. It’s Never Too Late to Get Financially Intentional Many leaders in their 40s, 50s, or 60s worry they’ve waited too long. But as Mike Heatwole wisely shared: “It’s never too late. Just get started. Do something.” Progress—not perfection—is the goal. Start small. Build momentum. Take the next best step. This mirrors a concept we love from The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan: measure progress based on how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. Final Thoughts: Make Financial Stability a Strategy Mitigating financial risk isn’t about a dramatic overhaul. It’s about consistent action, visibility, and intentional decision-making. With the S.M.A.R.T. Management System, IA Business Advisors helps businesses turn risk into clarity, fear into focus, and instability into opportunity. If you’re ready to start, we’re ready to help. Let’s have a conversation about what matters most to you—and build from there.
May 29, 2025
Hello, team! Mary here, continuing our journey through the I in Team series, where we challenge and empower you to Find , Be , and Build Your Influence. One of the most common things we’re asked to help our clients with is toxic workplace recovery. This directly connects to the culture of the team, and while rebuilding that culture takes time and intention, it is absolutely possible. In fact, with the guidance of our I in Team approach and S.M.A.R.T. Management system, we’ve successfully helped more than 19,000 teams evolve into high-performing, values-based cultures. If you’re ready to take the lead and breathe life back into your team, we’re here and ready to support you. Practice Emotional Intelligence One of the most impactful steps you can take on your toxic workplace recovery journey is to practice emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize, understand, and manage both your own emotions and the emotions of those around you). Toxic environments are often the result of emotional disconnection, poor communication, unnecessary competition, and a culture that avoids constructive feedback. Begin by shifting your perspective: respond with empathy, ask thoughtful questions, and use “I” statements. These habits model two traits, emotional regulation and empathy, that influence how your team interacts and solves problems. Start small. For example, set a personal goal to give one piece of sincere praise or recognition per day. This is a S.M.A.R.T. goal, and it starts to reinforce positive emotional exchanges. Over time, this contributes to a psychologically safe environment where people feel seen and supported. Foster Open Communication Once emotional intelligence begins to take root, toxic workplace recovery is just around the corner. Open communication becomes more natural because when team members are aware of their own and others’ emotions, communication becomes seamless. The number one rule? Listen. Really listen. Without listening, communication is incomplete. Try implementing monthly influence partnerships—team pairings that rotate so members can get to know each other beyond surface-level roles. This creates connection and, when done with consistency (Timely), fosters trust across your team. Another way to build open communication is by creating a structured feedback loop. Clarify how and when feedback should be given—perhaps during weekly one-on-ones or monthly review meetings—and make sure all team members understand the difference between criticism and constructive feedback. S.M.A.R.T. feedback is Specific and Relevant, and when delivered with respect, it encourages team members to grow without fear. Lead by Example As we say throughout the I in Team series, everyone is a leader regardless of title. Whether you’re in the C-suite or just starting your first job, how you show up directly shapes the culture of your team. To begin, set some respectful boundaries rooted in your values. Let others know what you need to succeed and what behaviors support or disrupt your work. When disagreements arise, demonstrate what respectful disagreement looks like—calm, focused on solutions, and free from personal attacks. If your workplace has leaned into competition, shift the focus to collaboration. Collaborate on micro-goals, like shared tasks or cross-functional projects. Make the results Measurable and celebrate wins together (publicly, if possible). Consider S.M.A.R.T.-based team-building events (like problem-solving challenges or goal-setting workshops) to reinforce collaboration in a meaningful way. Final Thoughts Toxic workplace recovery starts with you. Every interaction, every word, every moment of listening is a chance to model what’s possible. Show up the way you want others to show up. If your team is struggling to rebuild or you need expert guidance, reach out . We’re here to help. Let’s keep influencing responsibly and positively together.
A drawing of a map with the words how to create a personal development plan that works
April 30, 2025
A personal development plan is a tool to build your influence. However, neglecting your plan erodes your positive influence over time. We’re here to help.
A drawing of an owl sitting on a branch with a target
March 22, 2025
Boost employee performance with SMART praise strategies. Discover effective consulting tips for your team’s success!