The Problem with the Golden and Platinum Rules

Business consulting strategies

Hi team, it’s your friend Mary with The I in Team Series where you can find, be, and build your positive influence! This week, I want to discuss my personal opinion on the Golden and Platinum Rules. To review, the Golden Rule is, essentially, "treat everyone as you would want to be treated" and the Platinum Rule is "treat everyone as they want to be treated." While these both offer great guidelines for hopefully treating others with love, kindness, and respect, I think they miss a huge component of humanity: Mental Illness. I know when I'm depressed, anxious, or in the pits, I don't want to be treated well; more so, I don't feel like I deserve love and kindness because my mind tells me I don't. This is the primary problem I see in the Golden and Platinum Rules, but before I propose my solution, I want to dive into these rules a little further.

The Golden and Platinum Rules

The Golden Rule, in some variation, has been written in religious text for centuries. It essentially reminds everyone to stay mindful of how they treat others lest someone treat you the same way. It promotes a sense of empathy and social awareness. Although, it is a bit egocentric. It’s a rule that tells you to treat others the way you would want to be treated, assuming you believe you deserve to be treated well. I know that for me and others who suffer from depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses, not everyone feels that they are worth being treated well all of the time. So, for example, if I followed the Golden Rule while in a depressed state, I probably wouldn’t treat others very well. Why? 1) Because I feel horribly about myself and the world and 2) If I were hypothetically following the Golden Rule, I would treat everyone the way I felt I deserved, which I’m certain nobody wants.

The Platinum Rule was proposed and developed by Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dr. Michael J. O’Connor. On Dr. Alessandra’s website, he writes,

“The Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from ‘this is what I want, so I'll give everyone the same thing’ to ‘let me first understand what they want and then I'll give it to them.’”

Dr. Alessandra and Dr. O’Connor were absolutely correct to propose a rule that focuses on the other person more than the self. This ensures you are attempting to give someone what they want, but it leaves out what people need. Sometimes people want things that aren’t good for them, as I hope you understand by now with the example above. While we want to accommodate the feelings of others, we also need to be mindful that sometimes the people closest to us don’t know what they need to feel better and in those moments we should offer them love and support with no strings attached.

How I Approach Treating Others

To be honest, I didn’t know what to call it. But, the way I approach treating others is to, “Treat everyone the way you would want someone to treat the person you love most in this world.” Perhaps, this is redundant, as many people’s favorite person is themselves. Personally, this rule works for me. I don’t always have the best mental health and reminding myself to treat others the way I would want someone to treat Spencer, my fiancé, is really helpful. No matter what kind of mental issues I’m battling, I always want Spencer to be treated with love, kindness, and respect. To be honest, I just can’t say the same about myself, although I know those thoughts aren’t true, the mind can be tricky.

I believe following a rule like this will help everyone be more socially aware. Spreading a positive influence is the best way to combat the negativity of the world. If we can increase our emotional intelligence, do our best to realize when we aren’t feeling so great, and strive to treat others the way we would want someone to treat those we love the most, I know we can increase our positive influence. Maybe not every day, but we aren’t meant to be perfect every day. Life might kick us down, or we might have a bad day with a negative influence, but we just have to keep going forward, learning from our mistakes, doing our best, and striving to remain uplifted and positive. If we can do this, we can spread love, kindness, and acceptance in all areas of our lives.

Conclusion

These rules have always been meant as guidelines for treating others with love, kindness, and respect, and in reality, all three rules are saying the same thing with different wording. One is centuries old, derived from philosophy and religion. One is a more recent thought pool, used to increase others’ empathy and social awareness. And one is used to recognize that people these days have mental illness and we should remain mindful. It doesn’t matter your race, age, or sexual orientation; all human beings deserve a chance to be treated with love, kindness, and respect. We all deserve to live in a world where we are free to be our most true selves. In a diverse world, we all flourish, so spread positive influence to those who are similar to you and those who are vastly different. We are all important in this time.

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How to Mitigate Financial Risk Using the S.M.A.R.T. Management System

June 9, 2025

In an increasingly volatile economy, businesses cannot afford to be reactive when it comes to their finances. Whether you're a startup founder, a growing enterprise, or a seasoned business owner, the risk of financial instability is real—and growing. At IA Business Advisors, we help companies proactively navigate these risks using our comprehensive S.M.A.R.T. Management System . S.M.A.R.T. is more than just a goal-setting acronym. It is a decision-making and execution framework that brings clarity, structure, and alignment to every part of your business. From six-week action plans to one-year targets and long-term strategy, S.M.A.R.T. ensures your financial operations support healthy growth and resilience. Understanding Financial Risk in Today’s Business Climate Financial risk is multifaceted. It ranges from cash flow disruptions and market shifts to internal mismanagement and over-leveraged growth. As Brian Smith shared on a recent Daily Influence podcast episode, unchecked growth can drive a company into bankruptcy. Scaling without intention—chasing fast growth without aligning the internal team and financial resources—leads to diluted communication, quality issues, and operational chaos. Mitigating financial risk begins by understanding that more revenue doesn't always equal more stability. True sustainability comes from building systems that support intentional, well-paced growth. The S.M.A.R.T. Framework in Action: Reducing Financial Risk Our S.M.A.R.T. Management System guides businesses in creating resilient, financially stable operations through: 1. Specific: Build with Intentionality Clarity is power. One of our podcast guests, Mike Heatwole (CEO of The Dala Group), emphasized the importance of sitting down to define what matters most—whether that’s paying down debt, investing in growth, or launching a new venture. When your financial goals are specific, your strategy becomes targeted and less prone to reactive decision-making. “If we don’t know what the goal is, how do we get there?” — Mike Heatwole, CEO of The Dala Group 2. Measurable: Track What Matters Many companies are blindsided not by invisible risks, but by unmonitored ones. We help clients implement tools to track cash flow, margin fluctuations, and budget variances in real time. Visibility into your financial health gives you the power to respond early and course correct as needed. 3. Achievable: Assign Financial Stewardship Risk is reduced when financial responsibility is distributed. Through teamwide financial literacy and clear accountability, we empower organizations to make stronger daily decisions. No individual person should carry the entire burden—and no key area should go unmonitored. 4. Relevant: Make Risk Management a Habit Quarterly or biannual financial health check-ins create a sustainable rhythm. These don’t have to be complicated—they just need to be consistent. Regular reviews embed risk awareness into your company culture and decision-making process. 5. Timely: Foster Honest Dialogue Financial silence is a hidden threat. As Brian noted on the podcast, emotions like fear or shame can prevent businesses from facing financial realities. We encourage honest, blame-free communication around financial performance, creating space for solutions and collective action. Case in Point: Short-Term Action, Long-Term Impact One of our clients, a family-run distribution company, had strong revenue but was bleeding cash due to aging receivables. Together, we built a six-week S.M.A.R.T. Plan focused on accounts receivable recovery. We implemented weekly check-ins, assigned ownership, and used real-time tracking. Within 90 days, their outstanding A/R dropped by 22%, freeing up capital and restoring operational confidence. It’s Never Too Late to Get Financially Intentional Many leaders in their 40s, 50s, or 60s worry they’ve waited too long. But as Mike Heatwole wisely shared: “It’s never too late. Just get started. Do something.” Progress—not perfection—is the goal. Start small. Build momentum. Take the next best step. This mirrors a concept we love from The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan: measure progress based on how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. Final Thoughts: Make Financial Stability a Strategy Mitigating financial risk isn’t about a dramatic overhaul. It’s about consistent action, visibility, and intentional decision-making. With the S.M.A.R.T. Management System, IA Business Advisors helps businesses turn risk into clarity, fear into focus, and instability into opportunity. If you’re ready to start, we’re ready to help. Let’s have a conversation about what matters most to you—and build from there.

Enhancing Interpersonal Relationships for Toxic Workplace Recovery

May 29, 2025

Hello, team! Mary here, continuing our journey through the I in Team series, where we challenge and empower you to Find , Be , and Build Your Influence. One of the most common things we’re asked to help our clients with is toxic workplace recovery. This directly connects to the culture of the team, and while rebuilding that culture takes time and intention, it is absolutely possible. In fact, with the guidance of our I in Team approach and S.M.A.R.T. Management system, we’ve successfully helped more than 19,000 teams evolve into high-performing, values-based cultures. If you’re ready to take the lead and breathe life back into your team, we’re here and ready to support you. Practice Emotional Intelligence One of the most impactful steps you can take on your toxic workplace recovery journey is to practice emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize, understand, and manage both your own emotions and the emotions of those around you). Toxic environments are often the result of emotional disconnection, poor communication, unnecessary competition, and a culture that avoids constructive feedback. Begin by shifting your perspective: respond with empathy, ask thoughtful questions, and use “I” statements. These habits model two traits, emotional regulation and empathy, that influence how your team interacts and solves problems. Start small. For example, set a personal goal to give one piece of sincere praise or recognition per day. This is a S.M.A.R.T. goal, and it starts to reinforce positive emotional exchanges. Over time, this contributes to a psychologically safe environment where people feel seen and supported. Foster Open Communication Once emotional intelligence begins to take root, toxic workplace recovery is just around the corner. Open communication becomes more natural because when team members are aware of their own and others’ emotions, communication becomes seamless. The number one rule? Listen. Really listen. Without listening, communication is incomplete. Try implementing monthly influence partnerships—team pairings that rotate so members can get to know each other beyond surface-level roles. This creates connection and, when done with consistency (Timely), fosters trust across your team. Another way to build open communication is by creating a structured feedback loop. Clarify how and when feedback should be given—perhaps during weekly one-on-ones or monthly review meetings—and make sure all team members understand the difference between criticism and constructive feedback. S.M.A.R.T. feedback is Specific and Relevant, and when delivered with respect, it encourages team members to grow without fear. Lead by Example As we say throughout the I in Team series, everyone is a leader regardless of title. Whether you’re in the C-suite or just starting your first job, how you show up directly shapes the culture of your team. To begin, set some respectful boundaries rooted in your values. Let others know what you need to succeed and what behaviors support or disrupt your work. When disagreements arise, demonstrate what respectful disagreement looks like—calm, focused on solutions, and free from personal attacks. If your workplace has leaned into competition, shift the focus to collaboration. Collaborate on micro-goals, like shared tasks or cross-functional projects. Make the results Measurable and celebrate wins together (publicly, if possible). Consider S.M.A.R.T.-based team-building events (like problem-solving challenges or goal-setting workshops) to reinforce collaboration in a meaningful way. Final Thoughts Toxic workplace recovery starts with you. Every interaction, every word, every moment of listening is a chance to model what’s possible. Show up the way you want others to show up. If your team is struggling to rebuild or you need expert guidance, reach out . We’re here to help. Let’s keep influencing responsibly and positively together.